This coping card is a friendly reminder to be more compassionate with yourself. To give you the same love that you give to other people.
I used to have very strong negative self-talk, especially after picking episodes. I was mad at myself for not having enough willpower to stop picking. Furthermore, I told myself that it was my fault that my skin is so damaged and that I was weak for not having my anxiety under control.
Sometimes I even purposely picked and scratched my skin in revenge for my ineptitude. According to the motto: since one arm is fu*%ed up, let’s continue with the other one and, on and on.
The thing is, I would never speak like this to a friend who has a similar problem. Why don’t I show myself more love?
Stop the negative self-talk by looking for the positive
Harmful self-talk fuels negative emotions and thus the intensity of the picking. To break out of the toxic state of mind, I listen inward and try to find out where my thoughts and feelings are coming from. Doing that gives me a better understanding of myself and my BFRBs.
I ask myself if my thoughts are valid, or is my mind convincing me of something that isn’t really true? Then, I actively refute and replace negative thinking with more rational and balanced thoughts.
For example, despite having setbacks, I tell myself to be proud of the progress I’ve made. Or instead of feeling shameful for my skin, I want to be grateful for it. I know it’s hard to love the skin with all the blemishes, scabs, and scars. However, it is easier to help and support the skin to heal when you are optimistic about it.
I invite you to examine your thoughts and become aware of your anxiety and stress factors. Try to find ways to turn your negative thoughts into positive ones and have some quality “Me Time”: go for a walk, take some mindful breaks, exercise, take a nap or celebrate your skincare routine. Yes, you deserve it!
To sum it up, reducing stress and anxiety is key to getting the picking under control. Don’t beat yourself up if you slip. On the contrary, be more compassionate with yourself because that will help you better fight your BFRB.
With each setback, you gain more knowledge, which in turn is an opportunity to move forward and heal. Don’t give up and keep trying – perseverance will lead you to your goal!
Sending you positive healing vibes 💙