Coping Cards

Trust the Progress

Every time I look at my fingers and see how my skin is growing back quite unevenly, I tell myself to trust the progress. I need to remember where I come from and where I am going. It takes time, and I will have setbacks too – both major and minor – but I know that I’m heading in the right direction.

Trusting the healing progress can be very difficult when coping with BFRBs. It feels like it takes forever to heal the damage we’ve done to our skin and grow nails or hair back. Any relapse feels like starting over.

To break the vicious circle in which we want to “repair” the skin and imperfect areas, we have to learn to leave it alone. Most importantly, we have to be patient and trust the BFRB healing progress, even if it’s not always linear.

Healing is a journey

Let’s see our healing journey like a road trip. Even though we have a navigation app, sometimes we take wrong turns or miss an exit. (Or is it just me? πŸ™ƒ) We visit landmarks, take breaks, and discover new things along the way. We try out different restaurants and return to the ones we like best. Eventually, we reach our destination.

The BFRB healing progress is similar. Our dream goal is to control our urges, not to pick, pull, and scratch. 

On our healing journey, we learn about new tips and tricks to control our urges. Some work better, others only in certain situations, and others not at all. We get to know our feelings and needs that trigger our behavior. We talk to therapists to learn more about the place – ourselves – and meet with the BFRB community to share experiences. Maybe we take pictures to see where we’ve been.

The interesting thing about traveling is that the challenging moments are often the most memorable. I hope that one day I can look back and think – wow, I got over it. Crazy times … I’m glad I made this healing journey because I’ve learned so much and came out stronger.

Some days/weeks/months are more manageable, and some are harder. Sometimes we are strong to keep going, and sometimes we just need a break. One thing is for sure, abbreviations mostly go wrong.

Let’s be patient with ourselves. Healing takes time and is never linear, especially when emotions and mental health are involved. We just have to trust the progress. 

Our stay in the “pick and the pull-free country” will most likely be extended if we are nice to ourselves. 

The route is the goal.

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