Tag: Nail Biting

Nail-biting, also known as Onychophagia, is an oral compulsive habit of biting one’s fingernails. Nail-biting is very common, especially among children. 25–30% of kids bite nails. Many people who begin biting their nails as children eventually outgrow the habit. For others, it becomes a lifelong habit that can be extremely difficult to quit. Welcome to the world of BFRB!

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Coping Cards

Lost But Not Losing

Illustration of a BFRB coping card saying: lost but not losing

This coping card has two meanings for me: I sometimes feel lost, especially after having lost another fight to my BFRBs. But I have to remind myself that I’m not losing the battle. 

I only recently felt almost arrogant because I thought I had overcome my BFRBs. I felt like I had all of the tricks I need to control my urges. For almost a week, I managed not to pick my skin or chew my cheeks and lips. Even my fingers never looked healthier.

Then, after this long healthy period, I had a major setback. I don’t even know why it happened … I even tell myself that I had no (obvious) reason to relapse. 

And exactly that is the tricky and irrational part of BFRB – you don’t always need a reason to pick, scratch, bite or pull. 

These self-harming and very often self-soothing behaviors have been well practiced for years. It is not that easy to control this subconscious urge. Unfortunately, there is no simple solution to overcoming our BFRBs. We have to go the bumpy road. 

When I started my BFRB healing journey, I knew setbacks would happen. Oh boy, and they happen … But I didn’t think they come with so many tears, self-doubt, and even self-loathing. 

After every setback, I feel like I’m starting from scratch. But that’s not the case because with every setback, I learn something new about myself. And with every new day, there is an opportunity to kick BFRB in the butt with a new trick 😉

Above all, it is crucial to recognize your own progress and celebrate small successes.

So when I reflect on my recent setback, I feel very proud that I left my face alone – this is a huge win! I only picked a few blemishes on my arms and legs. I just nibbled the inside of my mouth instead of biting it until bleeding. Sure, my fingers could look better, but I only bit off two fingernails instead of ten.

Yeah, I’ll lose a few fights, but I’m not going to lose the battle. Let’s get motivated by the small victories and small steps we take. Setting the bar too high will only result in disappointment.

Longstanding behavior patterns will take time and effort to change. Let’s be a little more compassionate and patient with ourselves. We deserve that.

Categories
BFRB Tips

Use Cuticle Oil to Moisturize and Heal Your Nail Bed

Illustration of applying cuticle oil to fingers

I don’t know how I could have lived without cuticle oil for so long! For most of my fellow BFRB copers, using cuticle oil is probably a no-brainer. But I indeed have never used it in those over 20 years of picking my fingers.

My restless fingers are constantly looking for or creating hangnails. Thanks to various coping techniques (finger taping, finger protectors, fidget ring, therapy, …) I have my finger picking pretty well under control. 

The new problem, however, is that the new skin feels more rigid, which makes picking even more appealing and harder to control.

So I’m trying to counter that by using A LOT of cuticle oil and lotion. The oil moisturizes and smoothes the skin, so I don’t see any hangnails or imperfections. The smell of the oil also reminds me not to bite my nails when I get my hand near my mouth.

Over time, I’ve developed a healthy habit that creates awareness not to pick. As soon as I’m at my work desk, I apply cuticle oil to the nail beds. 

This has an effect on me, similar to putting shoes on a dog. I spread my fingers apart to make sure they aren’t touching and not greasing the keyboard. For a while, at least, my fingers don’t wander around picking each other. 

In summary, the cuticle oil not only softens and heals your skin, it also creates a slight barrier against picking your hangnails.

Tip: When I need heavier BFRB work gear or the extra healing boost, I apply cuticle oil before taping my fingers or putting on the finger protectors. This is how I protect my fingers and moisten them at the same time.

Categories
BFRB Tips

Finger Taping to Create a BFRB Barrier

Illustration of a hand with tape on the fingertips, holding a pencil

Are you kidding me? Why didn’t I know of this earlier? 

A seated position with one free hand is always tricky for me – especially for biting my nails and picking my fingers’ skin. My fingers are always moving, looking for something to pick, bite, squeeze, or scratch. When I draw, read, or watch TV. Or like now as I write this post.

If I catch myself nibbling on my fingers, I put medical tape on the fingers that are most tempting at that moment. The tape immediately creates a barrier, and tadah, problem solved! If it only would be that easy … 

Everybody’s experience with BFRB is slightly different. Sometimes the BFRBs help to self-soothe; sometimes, it’s a deep auto mechanism. If you’re using the tape, you may need to keep something else to fondle with closeby.

How to use the finger tape

Depending on how you apply the adhesive, this trick will help with dermatillomania and onychophagia.

  • Tape around the finger: Prevents picking of hangnails or cuticles. 
  • Tape over fingernail: Helps to prevent you from scratching and feeling blemishes. Plus, you can’t bite your fingernails. I’m not sure, but taping the finger this way should help with trichotillomania too? Please let me know if you have any experience with this!

I usually use medical adhesives. I like the softness and texture; it is also very convenient to tear the pieces off instead of using scissors. Sometimes I apply cuticle oil underneath the tape so I can heal the skin while protecting it.

If you need something stronger or sturdier, try out climbing tape! You can get this at any larger sports store. Just keep in mind that the nail polish might come off with the tape if you have painted nails.

Categories
BFRB Tips

Calendar Challenge to Get Motivation to Fight Your BFRB

An illustration of the BFRB calendar challenge

Have you ever tracked your dermatillomania, trichotillomania, or nail-biting? I did that with the “calendar challenge” even before knowing the term BFRB. 

I had no idea what I was doing, but I was so fed up with not being able to control the picking and causing spots on my skin.

Little did I know then that tracking my body-focused repetitive behaviors would become a big part of my future and my BFRB recovery.

With the calendar, I challenged myself not to pick at my skin in the bathroom—one of my main trigger locations.

For this challenge, I drew a small calendar on paper and attached it to the bathroom mirror.

I used to start the calendar challenge whenever I felt like starting a new fight. I wasn’t waiting for a new week or month to start.

Lately, I’ve also been using the calendar challenge to track my period, breakouts, or use of certain skincare products.

It helps me identify patterns and prepare myself mentally for the next time hormones affect my mood and skin—that’s when my urge to pick increases.

Set small goals and celebrate small victories

Smaller goals for this challenge will yield better results. If you only focus on one trigger location or body part, the challenge will be easier to complete.

  • Focus on just one body part/area
    People often have different areas that they pick, pull, or bite, which can be overwhelming. So, try to focus on just one body part. For example, if your goal is to focus on not picking your face, and you managed to do that, you can still check the box on the calendar even though you picked your arms or legs.
  • Focus on only one trigger location 
    Another option is to decide on a location where you want to try not to engage in your BFRB. For example, if your challenge is not to bite your nails in the car, check the box if you succeed and celebrate!

Experiment with what works best for you. Maybe even combine both options! I do this – I mainly use the calendar challenge on my face (body part) in the bathroom (location).

  • Divide the day into three parts

The calendar challenge can be difficult and daunting, even if we only focus on one body area or location. If that’s the case, simply break the day into three parts—morning, day, and evening. You might be able to cross out some more wins this way!

After you set the rules for yourself, take it one day at a time. It’s about fighting the small fights to win the battle.

Be proud and celebrate every little win!! That motivates you to keep going.

BFRB coping methods to support the calendar challenge

When I first did this challenge, not knowing the term BFRB, my attempts to be “pick-free” were not very successful. I didn’t understand why I could not NOT pick.

But now, after developing some BFRB methods, I find the calendar challenge more doable. 

My favorite BFRB coping methods for the challenge are: 

Be kind and patient with yourself

I used to get very upset and disappointed myself if I had too many unchecked squares. I felt defeated and angry. Unfortunately, setbacks are part and parcel of BFRB’s recovery. There is no way just to stop a BFRB!

So, let’s be more compassionate with ourselves. It’s about recovery—one day at a time and one BFRB at a time. You can end the calendar challenge anytime and just try again later!

Categories
BFRB Tips

Place Coping Statements at Your BFRB Trigger Locations

An illustration of a BFRB coping card saying: I do more harm than good

Placing BFRB coping statements and reminders at my trigger locations was one of the first steps in my BFRB healing journey.

I need reminders and positive encouragement quotes to control my BFRBs. I worry that if I don’t deal with them regularly, I’ll quickly slip into old patterns of picking and biting without realizing it.

As a hobby and self-therapy, I began drawing BFRB coping reminders and used them to decorate my trigger locations. 

My two main trigger locations are the bathroom and my work desk. So, I placed a hand-lettered quote on my bathroom mirror and another on the computer monitor. 

I know that our dermatillomania, trichotillomania, or onychophagia (nail-biting) are not limited to places. Unfortunately, the triggers and stressors that cause our BFRBs are omnipresent. 

However, adding helpful and visually pleasing reminders to the key trigger locations is already a good start to creating awareness and potentially preventing the urge to pick, scratch, and bite.

After all, scars, scabs, and burning skin are the wrong reminders. We need help before we do the damage.

Check out the Coping Cards section on my website for other coping statements.

Do you know your main trigger locations?

My BFRB Coping reminder on the bathroom mirror.